Fun Size Magrs

  Depression is a bastard.  Somebody once told me that everybody gets 'depressed' at some point. They might call it ' the blues ' or ' the miseries ' - they might say they're ' down in the dumps '  - but it's just a phase . Sadness. Misery. Depression. It's all the same, isn't it? People get ' down ' when they lose their job or go through a break-up. Aren't we all miserable when plans fall through or somebody lets us down? It would be pretty messed up if we didn't feel crappy when the shit hits the fan.  But we're supposed to get back on our horses, pull ourselves together and go looking for all the other fish in the sea... presumably after we've wiped off all that fan-spun shit...    But then there's another kind of misery. It doesn't smack you in the face or trip you up suddenly - there might not be an obvious cause - it just starts to gnaw at you...  You can have a good job... You can be loved and resp...

Mr. Morley only ever gave our class one piece of homework.  He was my teacher when I was in the 4th Year at Junior School. Just before Christmas 1983 he told us all to watch The Wind In The Willows on ITV. It was shown the day after Boxing Day and I made sure I saw it in case Mr. Morley asked questions or gave us a test. He didn't - but I was still glad I'd watched it.  It was brilliant. Cosgrove Hall made loads of TV shows - Danger Mouse, Chorlton and the Wheelies, Jamie and the Magic Torch ... but The Wind In The Willows was a masterpiece . It was all done with stop-motion animation and I dread to think how many hours they spent making it. The music, the voices and the models all came together to make a perfect piece of TV.   Cosgrove Hall went on to make five series of further adventures for Ratty, Mole, Badger and Toad and I carried on watching, even after I left Junior School.  Mr. Morley often mentioned The Wind In The Willows as his favourite book - and s...

I spent a small fortune on books, tapes and CDs in the mid-90s. I had a lot of long bus journeys. Due to Covid-19 people are starting to realise that it's possible and preferable to spend more time working from home. I wish I'd had the option when I was first going to work - I probably would have been a lot happier and healthier. I left University in 1994 and I was completely broke.  I was £400 overdrawn with the Natwest and I owed thousands to  the Student Loans Company. Some of the people I'd been to University with were travelling around the world and taking gap years - but I was terrified because I owed so much money.  I'd spent most of my third year ill with glandular fever and I probably should have taken some time off - but that would have meant building up more debt. I still had a sore throat and a high temperature when I sat my finals. One day after the last exam I went 'home'. Home was an empty house in the North East. My folks were living abroad bu...

  Local Radio was always a bit rubbish.  We kind of knew it was rubbish but we loved it anyway. It wasn't glossy or star-studded like Radio 1 but that was part of the charm. It was also the only way you could hear Relax by Frankie Goes To Hollywood on the radio because the BBC decided it was too rude to be played on wholesome, family friendly Radio 1 by their wholesome, family friendly Disc Jockeys.  In the 70s and 80s, commercial radio was local radio for local people.  When I was very young there was a station called Radio Aycliffe and they'd play requests. They might mispronounce your name and you weren't allowed to pick the records they played, but that wasn't the point - for those few seconds you were famous!  On my sixth birthday they played a song just for me - 'I Will Survive' by Gloria Gaynor. It confused the hell out of me in 1979 but it was rather... apt, as it turns out. Radio 1 might have had the same presenters as Top of The Pops but they didn...

Everybody has spent a lot of 2020 indoors. As a family we've been shielding since March. My partner has several Doctors looking after her and they've all advised us to stay at home - even when restrictions were lifted for a few weeks in August. So it's been a long year. It's probably been slightly less of a problem for us, because we've had some practice. My partner has had a few health scares and operations over the last decade so we've never been able to go too far from home.  One thing that I hope comes out of this year of lockdowns is a greater understanding of how some people have to live. People with life limiting conditions have been living with similar restrictions for a very long time. Nine or ten years ago my partner had a hernia repair and it all went a bit wrong. She was in and out of hospital and I had to spend most of my time looking after our very young son. I was lucky because I had brilliant in-laws to help with shopping and childcare - bu...

Growing up sucks. When I was a kid I never, ever wanted to be a grown up or do any grown-up things. The world was not full of happy adults. I used to be in a Psychotherapy Group and the first rule of Psychotherapy Group was: You Do Not Talk About Group Therapy. The second rule of Psychotherapy Group was: You Do Not Talk About Group Therapy . I wouldn't dream of talking about what other members of the group said, but I figure I can witter on about my stuff as much as I like. I did find Group Therapy useful - if nothing else, it helps you to realise that you are not alone and other people are going through similar things.   Family photo from 1973, featuring me, my REDACTED , my REDACTED and REDACTED .   One of the things that other Group members picked up on was my complete lack of trust in ' grown ups '. I told them a story about when my Dad used to see me at weekends. I was only 5 or 6 and Dad would pick me up on Saturday morning and bring me home on Sunday evening...